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Pic: greatglen-caravans.co.uk

Tales from a caravan
Updated September 2006

Melanie lives in Stratford (UK), home of William Shakespeare. No longer will she send her occasional lines on her life in a caravan park. She's moving into a house.

Pic: greatglen-caravans.co.uk

The weekend visitors are suspicious of me.
If I was old and hairy they would be less so.

They mention when they "go home" in an attempt to find out if I have one. Although it's possible this is just my paranoia.

I saw a child dressed as a pumpkin this morning. On closer inspection it turned out to be an old woman carrying an orange sheet that was billowing in the wind.

I asked for a sandwich on brown bread. "Ooh we aint got nothing brown" they said.

The resident duck is called Mr Quackers of course.
I'd like there to be a Jemima around somewhere too.

Things I saw, 23 May 2006

Things I saw on my way to work this morning:

A boy with a beard in school uniform.

Two school boys concentrating intently on the road sweeping vehicle and getting very excited when the brushes scooped up a substantial bit of booty. The man driving the machine ignored them - as if embarrassed and unused to receiving such attention.

A sign to the canalboatpeople saying "STOP - moor your boat here until this sign changes". I think it was because the river is so high that the boats wouldn't fit under the bridge - unless the sign is on a diet or a lifestyling course and just wants people to notice.

A man cycling illegally over the bridge - I do this most mornings but it was nice to have a partner in my crimes.

Magic fading like the Autumnal Leaves, 18 September 2006

I crave the solidity of bricks and mortar
and city people who are living in their actual homes
rather than playing house in these tin boxes
that make the rain rattle so loudly on the roof it keeps me awake all bloody night!

Then

I heard a herd of geese flapping
and gaggling past the van
with loud voices
and big wings

They're heading to pastures new
Warmer climes
Better goosing

The humans are still clinging firmly to their fold-away chairs
Their odd toilet habits
And their specially made small appliances

Perhaps we should take their hint?

 
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