| It's
a common phrase, a cliche;
Shopping
is the new religion and malls are its cathedrals.
But today I experienced the ghd advert and understood.
I have glimpsed the future. Shopping really is
the new religion and I have followed the righteous
path.
Except
that it's not just shopping. Hair styling products
are the new religion, too.
In
2004, the Advertising Standards Authority in the
UK was bombarded with complaints about TV adverts
using religious imagery. More than 800
people objected to an advert for Mr Kipling's
mince pies. Christians claimed the scene mocked
the birth of Jesus.
A poster echoing Leonardo da Vinci's The Last
Supper led to 264 complaints. It was promoting
the Channel 4 series Shameless.
Fast
forward to 2007 and advertisers are still rushing
in to fill the gap left by the decline of Christianity
in the UK.
As
I write this, Manchester Cathedral is in dispute
with Sony. The church says that Sony set a violent
PlayStation video game inside their Cathedral
without their permission.
 |
 Advert
- page 1 (detail) |
|
Marketeers now, like never before, use the language
and concepts of religion to sell products.
What's the problem? Well, consumerism reduces
humans to what they purchase. Leave your love,
dreams and ideals at the supermarket. If you can't
measure it, it doesn't exist.
But
this is not an article about pies, cathedrals
or global capitalism; it's about one specific
advert and my journey through it into the new
religion.
Who's Space?
I
logged out of the MySpace website (who's space?
TheirSpace?) to see a full page advert. It is
promoting a prize draw to win ghd (Good Hair Days)
hair-styling products.
The MySpace online ad was created by Clash Media
Advertising, London. They've used ghd's slogan;
'a new religion for hair' in large lettering.
(I
want to concentrate on Clash's MySpace advert
here, but if you visit the official ghd website,
www.ghdhair.com, there are biblical-style references
all over it. Its front page contains the sentence
'The Gospel according to ghd' and the word 'resurrect'.)
But
back to the prize draw on MySpace. What
first caught my eye was its use of 'ghd' (similar
to God) and 'religion'.
In full it says: "Win ghd. A new religion
for hair Heat-Styling products! Enter here!"
I clicked it
 |
| Advert
- page 2 (detail) |
|
Being a Lost Sheep, I clicked the 'Enter Here'
button. Let me look upon the face of Ghd!
The next screen tells you more about the prize
you could win (your Ghd).
Still not convinced that they're using Christianity
to fill you full of products?
Here's a few quotes from the second webpage of
the advert, where it tells you about what you
could win. My, er, translations are in the brackets.
"A new religion for hair"
(Speaking in curling tongs)
Always take your hair beauty with you"
(You're never alone with your ghd)
"Also includes a ghd paddle brush"
(The burning brush?)
"And six travel-sized ghd thermodynamics
products".
(for pilgrimages?)
"ghd guardian shampoo & conditioner,
miracle mist, obedience cream..."
(Guardian angel? Miracles? Obedience? Any of this
sound familiar?)
"... the perfect travel companion or gift".
(You're never alone with ghd, touched by the hand
of ghd)
It's time to pray to your ghd
 |
| Begin
to pray - page 2 (detail) |
|
After reading about your ghd, it's time to attempt
to contact him. To get close to ghd. Say your
prayers and you may win him. It's time to fill-in
the online form and give the advertisers your
details.
I used the name Mr Lost Sheep.
"Title... Mr,
First Name... Lost,
Last Name... Sheep,
Email Address, Marital Status..."
(I begin to actively pray... ghd knows everything)
Now this is the powerful stage. This is part
in which you embark on your religious journey.
The advert uses online interaction to allow you
to get closer to your ghd. Poster campaigns, TV
or radio adverts tell you what to believe. Web
adverts can let you 'discover' that you believe
what the advertiser is telling you.
Women's magazines have used questionaires as
initiation ceremonies for many years. The readers
share their secrets with their magazine friend
- then feel they have invested something in the
magazine. Makes them more likely to purchase that
publication again.
But online ads can take this interaction to a
new level - the consumer can go on a journey with
their God (or Ghd) into their new religion. They
can soak themselves in their faith. Shopping is
the new religion.
 |
| Journey
begins - page 3 (detail) |
|
I enter my details and preferences and begin
clicking, spending time with the products and
the offers.
At the bottom of the page it says:
"By registering and entering your details
you consent to joining the Clash Club, and to
Clash Media and its clients sending you information
about products and/or services that have been
selected based on your stated interests. You also
agree to the terms and conditions and the privacy
policy that govern how your information will be
processed."
(You are now a confirmed member of the church
of ghd. You will abide by its rules and listen
to its sermons. Sleep well, your ghd is watching
over you.)
Click here to continue
Once you've given them your details it's onto
the next screen. The next eight pages are full
of adverts and offers.
I
am only interested in the one true ghd - so I
clicked 'No' repeatedly to the 50 or so offers
of credit protection, health care, online bingo,
loans, 'Get a FREE injury claim assessment today',
'WIN A MAKEOVER & PHOTOSHOOT', 'Looking to
sell or rent your timeshare?', 'Tenant? Need an
unsecured loan?', 'Free naughty online dating
from PlayNaughty.com'...
Each
page is designed to delay you, to make you look
at every advert, every offer.
With
each webpage I clicked through, a little figure
of a man (a pilgrim?) progressed along a path
at the top of the page.
 |
| Close
to ghd (detail) |
|
And
then my prayers were answered. My pilgrimage was
over. I had weathered the trials and tribulations.
I had done a lot of clicking.
The
little man at the top of the page had reached
the end of his journey.
"Congratulations,"
the text on the page says, above another page
of adverts. "you have now been entered into
our prize draw!"
Is
that it? Of course not. I was finally close to
ghd.
And it didn't take long for my ghd to speak to
me.
Within five minutes he contacted me through my
email inbox.
His first words were: "Lost Sheep, you have
registered, now enter the competitions."
Links
External
links
Win
ghd
ghd
official site
Clash
Media
Advertising
Authority
|
