Stewart
Dillon in China: Notes one
14 September 2002
I
am writing this on Saturday at 9.00 p.m. in my local
KFC. Over the past few days I have eaten the same
amount of Kentucky Fried Chicken as I did in my
entire life in England.
I
blame my students for this. A rumour was started
that I was a great fan of KFC and now they insist
on giving me an endless supply of KFC vouchers
which I feel obliged to use. The voucher system
is a simple yet elegant idea.
The participant is given 2 sheets of paper. One
sheet contains stickers of various KFC products.
The stickers come in 3 shapes; triangle (equilateral
to be precise), circle and square. The other sheet
contains combinations of shapes, each combination
having a set monetary value. Thus a circle and
square is worth 8 RMB whilst a triangle and square
is worth 11 RMB.
Describing
this reminds me of those Dennis Wheatley novels
(do people in England still read Dennis Wheatley?)
I read when I was about 10 years old, the ones
about the occult. The characters would go around
telling other characters how many "circles and
squares" they possessed; this had something to
do with how good they were at the occult.
20 years later I cannot remember whether it was
the number of circles or squares that was important.
Not that I care; Dennis Wheatley represented all
that was bad about the mind-set of the English
upper class and having a central character called
the Duc de Richlieu just made it worse.
Returning
to the voucher system. What makes it so captivating
is that it removes all need for communication.
You hand over the vouchers and money and wait
for the food. You don't have to speak. You don't
even have to point or mime. I had promised myself
that when the current series of vouchers had expired
I would stop coming to KFC.
Naturally what has now happened is that my students
have already started giving me vouchers for the
next promotion. I don't know whether to laugh
or cry.
What makes this ironic is that I happen to live
(literally) right across the road from a branch
of McDonald's. The KFC is my local in that it
is a 10-minute walk from my school but it is a
90-minute walk from my apartment, which is what
I am faced with when the buses have stopped running.
Why
do I make life difficult for myself when I could
as easily sit in McDonald's being annoyed by people
wishing to practise their English on me? The reason
is simple. McDonald's does not have a voucher
system to compare with KFC's. They do have vouchers
but inexplicably the vouchers focus exclusively
on their chicken products.
I
have yet to meet a Chinese person who would extol
the virtues of chicken from McDonald's over chicken
from KFC. It appears McDonald's are in a Catch-22
situation. They have correctly identified that
the money in the Chinese fast-food market is to
be made from chicken and yet they are forced to
go up against a company whose raison d'etre is
fast-food chicken.
I
do not live for chicken but if I have to eat it
I would rather put my trust (and money) in a company
whose speciality is chicken. If McDonald's were
giving out vouchers for Sausage McMuffins or cheeseburgers
I would be writing this in McDonald's, but while
the choice is chicken or chicken I'm sticking
with KFC.
Given
the importance of chicken in the Chinese diet,
KFC was always going to have an edge over Mcdonald's
but the voucher system also plays an important
part in its success. The Chinese are often thought
of as conformists but give them the chance to
decide on a chicken filet burger or a bag of chicken
"popcorn" and they can't get enough.
The only losers in the scheme are the unfortunate
members of staff who have to tally up the number
of vouchers used. You can see them hunched over
a table at 11.00 p.m. ploughing through piles
of coloured paper.
I am grateful just to be able to eat recognizable
parts of a chicken. I don't mind grilled chicken
hearts on a stick (meat-on-a-stick is a wide spread
but little-mentioned part of Chinese cuisine)
or even a chewy chicken neck (though the taste
takes getting used to) but I draw the line at
chicken's feet. Not only does it look unappealing
but there is precious little meat on one.
I am now well used to having dinner with a group
of people and being presented with an entire chicken
on a plate. As long as I avoid its eye I can take
a slice out of its middle with superb composure.
This is never a problem with the fish-in-its-entirety;
the eyes are usually the first thing to go.
NOTE: "McDonalds" or "McDonald's " ? "McDonald's"
or "McDonalds " ? The spelling is all important.
I checked the McDonald's web site, which solved
one question but raised another; why is there
no listing for China in the country listings?
KFC
in China has its own web site. Maybe the chicken
isn't the only reason McDonald's are lagging behind?)
(Copyright © Stewart Dillon 14.09.02.)
Stewart is a journalist and english teacher living
in China. You can contact him at stupaud@yahoo.com
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